Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Loneliness, who cares?

Dear followers,

While trying to create a new post, I got lost (pretty good for a computer teacher, right?) and somehow found out that my blog has had only 34 views. Dang, my blog must be lame. But, I don't give a hoot; it's good for the soul, like chicken soup. This sort of segues into my topic of interest: loneliness. It's dumb.

I used to get very lonely in college. My freshman year was hell for me. I thought that no one understood me nor was it possible for anyone to understand me. I was an impenetrable wall in my own mind, wouldn't let anyone in and I wouldn't let anything out, not even to the school therapist.

But my experiences living in other countries has left me immune to loneliness. Living now by myself in Pedra Badejo, the setting is perfect to feel alone: no friends (more or less on an intimate level), a foreign language that still isn't dominated and a foreign culture that makes for some awkward moments. But, in all honesty, I don't feel lonely. I think loneliness is created by how we think others perceive us. If you think that everyone thinks that you're a dork, oddball, idiot, dweeb, nerd, loaner, etc. then you're going to feel like one. If you don't care then you truly are the master of your domain. It seems to me a part of the maturation process, a step towards adulthood: not giving a f. (Sorry mom, the f is solely for emphasis) That's right I consider myself an adult now, boo yah.

But, there are consequences of kicking loneliness's ass (sorry mom). I think it could cause a coldness or indifference in one's behaviour. Not caring about other's perceptions of us could lead to a straight hermit lifestyle, which has entered my mind during my stay in Cape Verde, indifference towards friendship, and other loaner-type behaviours. Friendship is really important though. A true friend is a hard thing to find, but makes life much better. So, I'm stuck. I'm convinced that I could go on living my life as a hermit. No prob. Easy peezy japaneezy. But, I'm not sure it would be a fulfilling lifestyle. Friends are a good thing. Maybe if I could get some friends to live with me as hermits. Anyways, I know that I won't need to buy some luxury car to impress the Jones'.

Other news:

- 2 liter warm baths= da bomb
- New Year's resolution: to not turn on the lights for the remainder of my service and to not use running water unless for filling up my barrel and other water bottles.
- Meat from a can= also, da bomb


Welp that was my ramble for the day, good luck deciphering it. Peace

Jeff

Monday, February 14, 2011

Life for the last 7 months: A little catching up to do.

First off, I'm sorry. I apologize for keeping anyone who is truly interested in my life and my experience out of the loop; it wasn't my intention. But you know one excuse leads to the other, I´ve had all this work, I want to focus on integration first, my internet access hasn't been good, blah blah blah. Truly, I have had to time to keep up with this and haven't, my bad. But you know, you start telling yourself that you're really busy and could be doing so many better things till you actually convince yourself and you feel really busy. The mind is pretty powerful. I know that now.

But also I've learned a lot more things for in these 7 months. I'll give you all a quick recap.

My first two months in Cape Verde were spent in Picos, a rural town on Santiago, the largest island of Cape Verde. There, I lived with a family, learning the ins-and-outs of capeverdean life. This period also served for intensive training: learning Kriolu, different skills that may be needed and other cultural aspects. Overall, these 2 months were great, busy, but great. I shared a lot of time with a great family, who cared for me like a son. Once my host-mom even convinced me that I was sick. Weird, but impressive. My host-dad took me out on runs and included me in his yoga-style workouts that sometimes included nun-chucks, which was very funny. Many other stories came from this two-month period that seems so long ago, but most importantly I became fairly fluent in Kriolu. Which probably was the intention of the Peace Corps.

After these two months my life became a little less capeverdean. I moved out, went to my site and gained some welcome independence. Which means that for the last 5 months my daily diet has differed hardly any, and I've eaten truck loads of cereal (maybe literally). But don't worry, I take vitamins. Job related news, I work at a public youth center. I love the job. It is very community oriented, so I meet a lot of people (mainly youths), and I have a lot of freedom. For the most part I'm teaching computer classes right now, which I'm surprised to say that I like because I hate computers, but the kids/adults are eager to learn about computers and easy-going. Also, I'm working on some side projects that are in the beginning stages: environmental campaigns, cultural fairs, and some other things. But, that's mainly it.

My home is nice. Tile floors, electricity, running water (half the time) and a good location. My community is fairly big on capeverdean standards; it may be the 4th largest city in Cape Verde. And I have no really complaints about it.

Some thoughts that have developed since arriving at my site:

-I'm not sure people from the suburbs really know how to be apart of a community
  • we spend a lot of time trying to avoid one another rather than spending time together
  • time that is spent together is rather insignificant and usually small talk
  • but I won't say that the desire isn't there, it just needs a little boost.

-Why does the society that has arguably (probably not even arguably) caused the most damage to the Earth in our planets history send young ambassadors across the world and call them development workers? All that we know how to do is to destroy something, right?

Harsh thoughts, I know. But, there is a lot of time to think here and, so far, this is what I've come up with.

Please comment. Hopefully some interesting conversation arises.

All the best and I will try my best to keep this thing going,

Jeff